i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
