Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Randomize
