This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
