My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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