watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
