Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
