If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
