All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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