everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
