Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
