i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
