My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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