4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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