Whod you bang
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Randomize
