I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I have feelings that need drinking.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
