I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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