Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
my liver is dry heaving
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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