If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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