You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
