do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
