wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
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