I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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