She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
