Where is the hickey?
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
