i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
