Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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