i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
