He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Banned from zoo.
Again?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
