let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
