Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
