I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
