is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
