i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
