would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
