y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
