Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
