I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
