So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
