I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
so let's talk penis.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
