so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Please, let me fuck your mom
my phone needs a breathalizer
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
