You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
