thus making me awesome and them whores
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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