the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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