i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
