Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
