i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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