i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
