im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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