good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
so much tequila, so little girl.
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