Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
